6.30 – Sunday Morning

Ok, 7am – really had trouble getting out of bed:

• 6.30 – Slammed the ‘sleep’ button on my alarm clock the first time – oh, ok, arms and shoulders really hurt today. Roll back over – ooh, head spinning already. Pain generating from somewhere inside my lower legs.
• 6.35 – Second slam and switch on bedside lamp to try to stop me falling back to sleep. Yep, arms still experiencing shooting pains. Take out my mouth splint (the very pretty(?) thing used to try to stop me from grinding my teeth at night) and rotate my jaw around – extremely stiff (I still grind my teeth but now I do it on a piece of hard plastic) and causing lightning strikes of pain down my neck.
• 6.40 – Last slam. ‘C’mon Sim, get out of bed; you’ve worked so hard for the last ten days, don’t ruin it now!’ Pry open my eyes. Close them. Open only one eye until I can get to my eye drops. Move my legs to the side of the bed and use the movement to get my body upright. Urggh! Really? Do I have to do this now? Ankles hit the floor – OMG! The bones in my feet broke while I was sleeping (yes! that’s the only description I have for how my feet feel while I try to get them moving in the morning). And up.

Head spinning. Need to wrench open door with two hands as power has not been fully restored to my wrists. Guess what? The bones in my hands (what’s the area between your wrists and your fingers called?) were in the same tragic accident as my feet!

Still dark outside. Shuffle to the bathroom and turn on the light in the toilet so there is some light cast into the bathroom. Eye drops – AAAahhhh (huge sigh of relief)!

Light on. My brain has exploded inside my left eye – my entire left eyeball is red. Maybe that’s it! Maybe I have a brain tumour that has exploded (and can be fixed, of course)! Maybe I don’t have fibromyalgia? Hmmph, I should be so lucky (insert Kylie Minogue song here). My (under)cheekbones are throbbing!

How did I get this way so quickly? Five months ago, I still had a 28-year-old toy-boy. Now I’m lucky if I can keep up when walking with my mother’s 78 year old partner (Henry).

Swallow 12 pills in one go (I can still remember when I had to hide 1 tablet in my food because I couldn’t swallow it) with water – no Pepsi-Max – I’ve given that up 2 weeks ago!

…And over to my indentation on the couch to vegetate and wake up properly.

So why am I up at this ungodly hour on a Sunday morning?

Because I paid a ‘specialist’ $250 to be told that I need to go to sleep at 10pm, no computer after 8pm, wake up at 6am and get sunshine on my face by 7am (does he realise we’re in Melbourne!) then return, if required, in 4 weeks!

Thanks for the help, Doc!

My head (especially my eyes), body, arms, legs and VISA card feel SO much better!